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No Pizza for You

April 2, 2015

I read this article yesterday in which an earnest and well-meaning Christian owner of an Indiana pizzeria vows she will never deliver a pizza to a gay wedding.  While I have no personal knowledge of a wedding that was actually catered by a pizza place I assume that it may happen and I suppose that it is good, if you feel God has called you to take such a stance, to be ready with an answer if the phone rings.

So Ma’am, just to be helpful, I thought I might share some other weddings you might want to, in the name of your faith, avoid delivering pizza to.  I mean, since delivering a pizza apparently endorses whatever the person receiving it is doing, you need to be on guard for more than just gay weddings don’t you?  So you may not want to deliver pizza to:

  • Weddings involving remarriage if there has been no “biblical reason” for the previous divorce. Consult your pastor on just what is a “biblical reason” as there is some dispute about this.
  • Weddings where people might be drunk. We all know the Bible condemns drunkenness so this is out.  If it helps, I’ve done the research for you; Indiana’s legal limit is .08.
  • Weddings with mixed faith couples. It is clear that you shouldn’t be unequally yoked, isn’t it?  So you don’t want to be seen endorsing that.
  • Wedding where the bride intends to keep working. You’ve heard that the wives are supposed to be “keepers at home” right?  You might need to quiz her on her plans before you drop off the pizza.
  • Weddings where the husband is in the military. Deuteronomy 24 makes it clear that the man cannot serve in the military in his first year of marriage so this is also a “no pizza” wedding.  If the wife is in the military, see the reason just above.

These are just a few.  To be on the safe side you might also want to avoid weddings where people might be over-eating because, you know, gluttony, weddings where there will be unwholesome music and dancing, and weddings where the bride is “adorned” in an expensive dress because the New Testament frowns on such things.

I can’t guarantee that this is an exhaustive list.  You may need to do some extensive study to fill out your “no pizza for you” list.  Or….maybe you can give yourself a one-question quiz.

When are you most like Jesus?

  1. When you love and serve the “tax collectors and sinners” in your community
  2. When you turn your back on them to make sure they know you disapprove.
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