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Smokin’ Hot

May 8, 2014

I read earlier this week that the term “my smokin’ hot wife” is appearing more and more on the Twitter feeds of evangelicals and, in particular, evangelical pastors.  Apparently this phrase is really taking off in such circles; it has become the in thing to say about your wife in sermons, devotions, prayers and whatever.

I’m not sure why this is so.  I suspect that to some extent it is meant as a complement.  But part of me thinks it is because so many evangelicals are obsessed with proving that they just as cool and hip as anyone in the secular world.  You know what I mean; the “we evangelicals aren’t the prudes you think we are” mindset.  Or the “we not only have great sex but because we are married it is holy” mindset.

Another part of me wonders if it is the gender role obsession that pervades much of the evangelical church; the need to proclaim that the leader/shepherd men need a lot of sex and feel that calling their wives smokin’ hot is a good way to get them to, well, submit.

There is also the nagging fear that this is just another aspect of the sex-obsession that seems pervasive in the church.  I recently saw an article where a mega church pastor posted a picture of his wife with this paraphrase of Proverbs 31 “her leather pants are like water to her husband’s soul.”

The whole thing troubles me in two ways.  For one, we teach young girls that they are not, for any reason, ever to be smokin’ hot.  Purity and modesty is the rule, no exceptions.  It can go so far as to imply that the girls are at fault if guys around them get aroused; they are causing the poor helpless guys to stumble.  Then the marriage day comes and, presto-chango, they now not only are allowed to be smokin’ hot, it is their duty to be so.  This is from Mark Driscoll:

“It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.”

But, as Mother’s Day approaches, there is a second reason that bothers me.  We are about to honor the moms in our church services.  We probably are going to tell them that motherhood, to quote a friend, “is the highest and holiest calling a woman can have.”  So our message to women is this: we want you to be moms, to have three, five, seven kids or however many the Lord allows.  You need to devote your life to them, nurture them, care for them, and be everything for them.

But, you also need to smokin’ hot when the husband comes home.  Don’t tell him about your rough day; don’t be exhausted or even a little grubby after a day with the kids.  That isn’t his problem; he deserves a smokin’ hot wife.

Maybe this Mother’s Day we can put away a stupid Twitter slogan and let wives and moms – as well as husbands and dads and everyone else – be loved and valued by the God who made them just the way they are, even at the end of a long hard day with the kids.

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From → Christianity

One Comment
  1. I’m sad to know that Christians have picked up a slogan and mindset that pertains to the world and fanning the lust of the flesh. Yes, husbands and wives should have an relationship intimate in all aspects, but with respect and purity for one another. I feel that “pure” intimacy such as goes on at home should stay at home, not be brought into public discussion. Doesn’t the expression “hot” carry a connotation of cheap, immoral, or trashy?

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