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Random thoughts from the road

April 27, 2012

Here are some thoughts that went through my mind as I drove up I-95 from NC to NY.

–        Does Chris Christie really care that I drove into New Jersey?  As I entered New Jersey there was a sign saying that Governor Chris Christie welcomed me to his state.  I have this vision in my head of one of his aides rushing into his office and saying “Hey!  Guess what?  Tom just drove into New Jersey!” and having him respond with glee.  But it’s probably not true.  More likely he’d say “Tom who?” Or “So?”  And it is not just NJ.  In every state on the way up the governor welcomed me.  I might believe it if he was standing there waving but that didn’t happen.  The exception was NY.  It appears that Andrew Cuomo couldn’t care less that I entered his state, which at least is honest.

–        Have you ever seen a deer cross at a “Deer Crossing” sign?  Me neither.  I wonder why that is?  Are the signs just stuck up at random because they didn’t know what to do with them?  Or is it that deer can’t read and don’t know where to cross?  Maybe it is a practical joke where they are looking to see how many they can fool into driving with their heads on a swivel as they look around for deer.

–        What is the purpose of the “Pass with care” signs?  When people fly by me on the highway I am pretty sure that “care” is not high in their thought process.  I suspect that they are either late or simply enjoy passing slow-moving losers like me.  I tend to think that the signs are just there so that later the cops can say “We told you so.” to people who have run off the road.

–        Do the “You have just passed ‘Restaurant X’” signs ever work?  There are usually three or four signs before every exit telling us about a restaurant.  Sometimes the signs even say “Restaurant X in 30 miles” or something like that.  How often do people drive by them and, when seeing the “just passed” sign, say “What was I thinking?” and double back.

–        I’ve got this theory about birds.  Invariably, somewhere on the vast northeastern US corridor of roads, a bird manages to poop on my one small car travelling at 60+ miles an hour.  It has to be some kind of a game they play.  It’s like they are flying around up there and one of them says to the others “I’ve got this one!” before swooping down.  Maybe they keep score or something.  I suppose this is better than that old Hitchcock movie “The Birds” but it still bothers me.

As you can see, I don’t have too many spiritual thoughts while I drive.  If you’d like to council me on that, wait till I get back home.  Who knows what will go through my mind on that trip.

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